It’s The Little Things.

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Mommy Loves You Baby Girl :*

Being a mom is an indescribable feeling. I enjoy every single little thing about it. Most people would say that it gets tiring and aggravating, but I have yet to feel that way, honestly. My daughter amazes me every second of the day. Fortunately being a stay-at-home mom means that I don’t miss any part of her growing up, especially during this time when she is growing so quickly. It’s as if she’s growing right before my eyes! I notice progress every day, it’s incredible.

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Zebra Baby (:

Being a young mom (I’m 20 years old) is another stereotype that I “fall under” which I’m not at all ashamed of it. As a matter of fact, I prefer being a young mom versus an older mom because I can grow with my daughter as well as being able to do things with her while we’re both young. I love the fact that I ALWAYS have somebody to go somewhere with. I enjoy the fact that being a mom is a job that I love without being paid, I love that being on call 24/7 gives me something to do since I hate the feeling of not having anything to do, and I love the fact that I am so lucky to have a good baby that gives me opportunities not to have to do anything.

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I Love Mommy ♥

The littlest things she does helps me discover her unique personality every day. Things like her falling into a dead sleep when she’s laying on me. I can go walking around, talking loud, going here going there, she won’t wake up. But as soon as I put her down, no more than 3 minutes later she starts crying realizing that I’m not there anymore. As soon as I pick her up, she stops and falls right back asleep. Is that not the cutest thing ever? It fills me with love.

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Her Face?! Too Cute!

She’ll probably love pedicures, or getting foot massages because she LOVES when you play with her feet. It calms her down almost every time she fusses.

I have rarely heard stories of babies who don’t cry during bath time, but Natalia doesn’t. She loves bath time and the feeling of her body being massaged with warm water and getting clean. I wash her head full of hair real good which she appreciates I’m sure.

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My Little Ray of Sunshine ❤

She will probably be a morning person because she’s always in such a good mood when she wakes up, and usually “cranky” or fussy at night if I wait too long to put her to bed. Early riser, early sleeper; opposite of me.

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Waiting for the Doctor.

She’s starting to turn her head to follow me wherever I go. I even read in an article sent to my email about baby stages for her age (which is 1 month and 10 days old today) that she will start recognizing people, sounds, and environments. I have been noticing that Natalia seems to know who her grandma is, and where her changing table is, and things like that. I imagine that she’s thinking “This is where she changes my diaper. Yay, Thanks mom!”, lol. She knows when it’s time to get changed because she’ll cry, and if she has a dirty diaper, I lay her down and start messing with her diaper and the crying stops. She used to cry all the way until you were entirely done, all the way to you snapping the last side. 😀

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My Cutie Pie ❤

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Natalia @ The Doctor’s

She’s very sensitive. Every little thing bothers her, from her clothes being uncomfortable, her seat being too hot or cold, her mouth is wet, when she has the littlest bit of poop in her diaper, every little thing. She’ll probably be a neat freak or perhaps a perfectionist like her mother. (;

She gets bored easily, which means she’ll probably be a busy body, not lazy thank God! She gets tired of being in one room too long and enjoys walking around (or being carried around) so she can look at different things. I feel like this will make her a curious person, someone who wants to learn new things. She seems to enjoy it when I go outside with her. I think the fresh air, sunlight and the company of animals makes her calm and happy. It’s adorable.

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At the Dr.’s Matching. (:

What’s even more adorable is that my 3 little dogs seem to know that she’s a baby, that she’s my baby. Shoot, they knew when I was pregnant, they could feel it. I could tell. They acted different. I remember them sniffing my belly as if they knew there was a little being in there. When I brought the baby home the dogs were so curious to see her and sniff her. I let them sniff her little foot and it was as if they knew she was my baby and accepted her right away. It was interesting to see the dogs and the way they reacted. Even the youngest of them, Bandit, acts like her big brother. When she cries, her runs to where the cry is coming from, barks, then runs back to us and barks again as if saying “Hey, hey! The baby’s crying!”. It’s the funniest, cutest little thing.

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My Everything ♥

I love it when she’s feeding, and she has her hands holding me and closing and opening her fingers over and over again. It tickles sometimes, but it’s such an amazing feeling to feel those tiny little hands that I made kneading on me like a kitten nursing on their mommy. Sometimes I’ll look away, and when I look back down at her I catch her staring at me. It’s a very touching experience, I love it so much.

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Her First Bath.

Every little detail of everything about her fills my entire body with love. Even things like her crying and her poop. She cries like a little lamb and says “mmbaaaaaaaaaa!” and I can’t help but think how adorable she sounds. Her poop is nasty, but then she acts so cool and cute about getting changed that I forget all about how nasty it is. Even her farts and burps are cute! They’re so loud she makes me think there’s another adult in the room with us, lol! That little girl is so funny she could be a comedian already. 😀

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We matched. (:

The way Natalia stares at me while I do my hair, or put on my makeup is another thing she does that melts my heart. I can already tell she’s going to love hair and makeup just like me. ❤

All the little things she does and the things I notice make me enjoy being a mom so much more. I even told my mom last night that I loved being a mom. She told me that I loved it more than she did, and that made me feel good, or more confident that I was a good mom because my mom was a wonderful mother to me and my sister. (:

I ordered a bunch of pictures of her and of me when I was pregnant to start scrap booking and decorating the baby book.

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Left: Buddy, Right: Bandit

By the way, my apologies for the slack on blogging. I have been very busy enjoying every minute of Natalia’s life and getting things organized that I haven’t found the time to write any posts. But that will change. I plan to get back to my crafts that I want to finish, scrap booking, and getting things ready for college that I’m going to start this year in August. But that’s for another post later on. (:

One more thing, one of my very good friends Ashley took some professional photos of my little family which will be posted later on as well. Here’s a sneak peek to see what you have to look forward to! ♥

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TV Commercial That Made Me Wonder…

polls_stop_watching_4123_831161_answer_3_xlargeI rarely ever watch T.V. and when I do, I usually just watch Family Guy at night before I go to bed for their mass reality sarcasm, and I usually end up falling asleep before the show is over anyway. Well, last night I saw a direct TV commercial that advertised a satellite box that records up to 2,000 hours of television shows. Yep, that’s right: 2,000, 2-0-0-0, two-thousand hours. So I thought to myself, wow that’s a whole freakin’ lot of television! And then I did the math in my head: If a person watches one hour of T.V. a day (which I can’t imagine anybody watching more than that unless they have no life), every single day, that’s 365 hours of T.V. in one year. So that would mean that this satellite box can record about 2 and a half years’ worth of television shows. I’m sorry but this really baffles me. How could someone seriously watch THAT much T.V.?! It’s ridiculous if you ask me! I don’t even watch T.V. every day because I don’t think there is anything interesting on there anyway. Every show is the same, just different people and different stories; some kind of drama going on and people commenting on it. Even the news is like that, and just about every single thing on T.V. is fake anyways! No wonder people have become so lazy. More than half of the American population spend more time watching T.V. then they do spending time outside. According to statisticbrain.com, the average person spend 5 hours and 11 minutes watching television a day. Studies show that violence, drugs and other issues are associated with the daily viewing of television. television-brainwashing-advertisingNo wonder, look at all the T.V. shows, the way they act, the things they say, and the commercials they show every 15 minutes that advertise all kinds of unnecessary crap used to persuade us into spending our hard earned money. The contradictory advertisements of the promotion of selling cigarettes and then the commercials that talk about how bad they are for you. The fact that illicit drugs are illegal, yet they come up with products that promote the illicit illegal drugs (i.e. Cocaine, the newest energy drink). The commercials that advertise all these medical products that are sold to “fix” a problem (that could otherwise be healed naturally if you bothered to research it) and all the terrible side effects that come along with them that nobody pays attention to. What do you think your children are watching? Have you seen any of the children’s shows that you let them watch lately? Look at what the media is teaching your children, how to act, how to talk, how to treat their parents and other children around them. It just seems to be getting worse and worse about teaching our kids how to behave in society. Daily television watching relates to countless health problems including obesity. Then they advertise all the super model celebrities with “dream bodies” (which ARE photo-shopped) to make you feel that much worse about yourself for sitting there watching that shit in the first place!

TV-BrainwashingI personally think that there is WAY more to life than staring at a screen being brainwashed and programmed by nonsense. Because that’s what T.V. does, it programs you to think that the way those people act are how people act in real life, and then people in real life start acting like the people they see on T.V. Remember that Scooby Doo movie with the actual real people, where they discovered the lab that had “programs” on T.V. that taught people how to act? That’s a subliminal message and it is EXACTLY what happens in our society these days. People are so consumed by what they see on T.V. that they don’t even realize how programmed they really are. Like the guy in this youtube video says, “You think like a tube, you act like a tube, you eat like a tube, you teach your children how to be a tube, you are a tube!” (Referring to T.V.) You ever see those people who seem to be hypnotized by T.V.? They watch it all day every single day like it’s air to breath? Crazy right?! Sadly, there really are people out there who live like that. They are completely brainwashed by the box. I found this guy’s article on the internet and he explains the mass media television brainwashing topic better than anyone I’ve read about so far. Here’s an excerpt that might inspire you to read his article:

If the angle is right, you might catch your own reflection in the screen. Jaw slightly open, lips relaxed into a smile. The blank stare of a television zombie. This is {soft} brainwashing, even more effective because its victims go about their lives unaware of what is being done to them. Television, with its reach into nearly every American home, creates the basis for the mass brainwashing of citizens, like you.

wash_deesHere is another excerpt from another related article about another guy’s personal thoughts on T.V. that I found quite intriguing:

Television is not real.
Nothing we see on the television is based on or presented to us in a realistic setting. Sure, they try really hard to convince us that it’s real, but what is reality? Reality is what we make of it. Reality is the color of the walls in your bedroom; reality is the itch on your back that you just can’t reach; reality, to me, is the notion that marriage is over rated; reality is the fact that I’m not worried about my daughter getting stung by a bee or falling down the stairs, because those things are going to happen; Reality is the fact that I’m actually afraid of when she goes to kindergarten and has to pass her Hello Kitty backpack through a fucking metal detector.

media-brainwashingSo do yourselves a favor and stop watching so much T.V. It does NOTHING for you, in fact it makes you stupid, unaware, lazy, as well as a bunch of other bad things. Go outside in the fresh air and take control of your own mind instead of allowing it to be influenced by a bunch of bullshit. Get creative, learn about things you’ve never known about, pay attention to your surroundings that you probably never even notice, enjoy life and live it outside of the box (T.V.) spend time with your family, friends, children and pets. There’s a lot more out there, more than you can imagine, if you would just turn that damn T.V. off.

Related Articles:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/americans-spend-34-hours-week-watching-tv-nielsen-numbers-article-1.1162285

http://www.statisticbrain.com/television-watching-statistics/

http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&health.html

http://rense.com/general63/traid.htm

http://www.salon.com/2012/10/30/does_tv_actually_brainwash_americans/

http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/poemsessays/brainwashedjerseymike.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_16656_6-brainwashing-techniques-theyre-using-you-right-now.html

Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

singleparentI’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

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In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

1351030360504_6986131Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Mother silhouette with babyEven when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

imagesAnother thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

l_101068735Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

Pregnancy Post #10 – 29 Weeks

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28 Weeks Pregnant
– Body Shot –

Today I am officially 29 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and I’m in the last lap of this race! The third trimester is definitely bringing me some of the best and some not-the-best feelings. I have gained a total of 27 pounds so far and am continuing to grow to support my developing baby. My feelings and emotions are definitely all over the place; I feel like my mind never sleeps. Nothing bad or anything, just a bunch of anxiety and anticipation about a few things, like labor being right around the corner, planning the baby shower, packing the hospital bag, putting the nursery together – on top of – applying for grants, loans and other assistance, keeping the house in a comfortable order, and completing all my other daily activities. I feel like everything is creeping up on me all at the same time! But not to worry, I am expressing all these roller-coaster emotions by blogging, reading positive, uplifting things, and doing my prenatal yoga almost every day. These activities help to keep my mind off of the things that need to be done and instead exchanges those feelings for thoughts of comfort – like knowing that things will get done when they need to be. As a result, I have become a master at controlling my anxiety.

I really want to talk about one of the biggest highlights of my pregnancy so far since my last post:
This morning, while I was reading aloud, I saw the baby moving in my belly. I read out loud to Natalia because I found out that babies learn in utero before they’re even born. Also because my pregnancy tracker app suggests that I read, sing or talk to my baby a few minutes a day. Anyways, I put my hand on this lump, because one side of my belly is bigger than the other, and when I pressed down, it must have startled her because she started moving like crazy! My belly started rumbling and shaking, almost vibrating, there was so much going on in there! It literally made me laugh out loud. So I took a break from reading and started to play back with her. I would push her and she would move, and then she’d kick me just to see if I would push her back, and I would. It was such an unfamiliar wonderful moment that filled my entire body with love and happiness. It truly is the best feeling in the world to have this kind of bonding interaction with my unborn baby. She makes me the happiest mom in the world!

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Photo from Google Images

Natalia is EXTREMELY active; I feel her moving all throughout the day, every single day. I feel like I know everything about her, from her minutes of play time to her cycles of sleep, to her telling me she’s hungry or when she just wants me to talk to her. She wakes me up in the morning before I do, and she keeps me up when I’m ready to sleep. She has periods of outrageous movement, causing me to twitch, jump, and jerk most of the time. It really takes my breath away. In the past few weeks I have been feeling so much intense fetal movement that it’s as if she’s turning inside of me, and I can feel everything. It’s absolutely amazing to know that I can actually feel her turning and where her body parts are located inside of me. The fact that the last ultrasound Dr. told us exactly where the baby is located helps also.

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Photo from Google Images

My BIGGEST relief: getting closer to not being pregnant anymore. I’m really starting to miss sleeping on my stomach and being able to bend over without straining for breath or space. The morning sickness and non-stop trips to the bathroom are two additional things I’m looking forward to NOT having to do. I’m even more excited about getting closer and closer to meeting Natalia and holding her for the first time! I can tell it’s going to be very emotional for me and I’ll probably cry; but they will be tears of joy and happiness. My eagerness to becoming a mother has brought out some of my “newly discovered” natural motherly instincts already. I see myself noticing children everywhere, the way they act, talk and respond to their environment, the way their parents treat them, feeling sorry about crying children and babies. What a change! I never used to notice these things. It’s funny how experiences like this can change everything about you (well, not everything).

Yesterday morning I attended my Pregnancy Care Class that I go to every two weeks. I watched a video about the kinds of things to expect during the third trimester including labor and delivery. It was a very informational video that I learned a lot from, and it was accompanied by a set of questions about the DVD and then another set of questions about my personal third trimester experience. Every time I attend a class and complete a questionnaire, I receive “mommy money” which entitles me to their resource room where I can use  the “mommy money” to buy diapers, formula, baby clothes, toys, etc. It is such a helpful place that I am fortunate enough to have discovered and is conveniently located 15-20 minutes away from my house. I am very appreciative of this class that is available to me for free. It’s not even as crowded as I would expect it to be! I guess it’s because I live in a small town area with few people, which I think is one of the greatest benefits of living in the country.

Next week I’m going to start planning the next baby project: my baby shower. The invitations, the location, the decorations, everything! I’m very excited about this part. Luckily I have a few girlfriends who are going to help me out, so it won’t be so stressful for me. I also have to update my baby registry so that I make sure that everything I will need is going to be on there for people to see. I’m very happy with my pregnancy, the way things have been going for me and baby, and the exciting new things that are to come.

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29 Weeks Pregnant – Lazy Pic (: