Blogger’s Update

In case any of my followers/readers are wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been busy at home with my newborn Baby girl Natalia. So as you can imagine I’ve been pretty busy adjusting to my new lifestyle, which means I haven’t had much time to Blog as much as I’d like! Well things are finally calming down as my daughter and I are getting to know each other. I’m finally finding time to continue doing the things I love as well as being the best mom I can possibly be. I have some blogs to post from before I had Natalia as well as my birth experience and blogs from afterwards! So tune in to my upcoming posts because they will be well worth the wait ♥♡♥♡♥

Here’s some photos I took so far (:

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Pregnancy Post #18 – 37 Weeks

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37 Weeks & 2 Days Pregnant Photo

*37 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant Today!
*146 Pounds

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Us @ Oaks Mall

Sorry about the slack on the blogging. I’ve just had a very eventful week and weekend, so I haven’t had too much time to squeeze in a blog. But I’m back! So here’s the update. (:

This past weekend, Jacob came to visit me in Lake City so he could spend time with me and the Natalia before she arrives. He was very eager to see how big my belly has gotten since the last time we’ve seen each other. Also he wanted to buy a few items for the baby to help me better prepare for her arrival. Over all I had a wonderful weekend with him. He took me out to eat at several places: Jason’s Deli, Starbucks, Hungry Howie’s, Krispy Kreme, Carraba’s, making sure he satisfied all my cravings.

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Jason’s Deli Lunch

Carraba's Dinner

Carraba’s Dinner

He bought Natalia a few outfits, even though she really didn’t need them (lol), a very expensive baby book from Hallmark ($45), my diaper bag along with all the items on my online Amazon shopping cart, some baby hygiene products such as shampoo and body wash, and a couple of things for me as well, like adorable black, glittery flip flops and the cutest flower earrings ever! He was definitely very generous to me and very sweet to me on our very busy and romantic weekend before I have the baby. He made sure I got plenty of exercise as we walked around the big mall of Gainesville and the strip of Downtown as well as plenty of rest in the hotel where we stayed at.

Clothes for Natalia from Daddy

Clothes for Natalia from Daddy

We went on a very nice walk in the downtown area of Gainesville where it reminded me of Old Town St. Augustine. I expressed to him how much In Love I was with the city of Gainesville and told him that that’s where I want to go to college. The college campus there is HUGE and it’s in the center of the entire town across the street from the strip that was lined with all kinds of restaurants, café’s, bars, clubs, consignment shops, everything you can imagine.

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My Cute Diaper Bag! (:

Although we spent a lovely weekend together, I still don’t feel like we need to be together. At least not right now. I need to get my life situated and established the way I want it before I can commit to a relationship, as does he. We both have things that we still need to work on, our lifestyles and ourselves, before we can actually “be” together. But regardless of our relationship status, we are both going to continue to be involved in Natalia’s life so that she can have both her parents. I feel that regardless of the parents’ relationship, they should both still have a relationship with the child.

My baby dropped! (:& Props to Prenatal Yoga for that Toned Booty! ;D

My baby dropped! (:
& Props to Prenatal Yoga for that Toned Booty! ;D

I have a very strong feeling that Natalia will be here sooner than the expected due date. I can feel so much more pressure on my pelvic area than ever before. Braxton Hicks contractions are definitely in full range and happening longer, stronger and more frequently. I can feel the baby so low in my stomach, people actually can tell the difference because I carried high my entire pregnancy; she has definitely dropped into position, which was confirmed in the appointment prior to the last. My belly is not so round anymore. It’s more “lumpy” and I can feel her body parts inside of me, which I think is the coolest thing ever. If Natalia was to be here before the 18th I would actually be very happy because then all this built up anticipation would be over with, I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore (Thank God!), and I would finally be able to hold my little girl in my arms. Daddy is very anxious to meet Natalia, probably even more than I am! The waiting period makes us so antsy.

My doctor’s appointment yesterday went pretty good for the most part. Other than waiting an entire hour and a half before I was actually seen, I had an overall good experience. The doctor told me that my blood pressure is absolutely perfect, my urine looks good, which lets me know that the Group B Strep Test that I took at the last appointment was negative. She also felt the baby in my belly and told me that she could feel all the body parts because I’m such a skinny pregnant girl and that the baby is measuring perfect size. I have been getting a lot of compliments lately from random strangers as well as friends about how pretty I am and how cute my belly is, how I have a “pregnancy glow” and it makes me feel so good, especially since I’m a little over two weeks away from having this baby! Prenatal yoga has definitely benefited my body in every way possible, keeping my body fit as it adjusts to the continuing added weight and alleviating the little back pain that I have.

$45 Baby Book from Hallmark

$45 Baby Book from Hallmark

The baby book that Jacob bought ironically fits perfectly in the shoe box that I picked to be Natalia’s baby box. It fits right in, like a glove on a hand. I drew a sketch of how I want to decorate the box and will spend my last two weeks of pregnancy making it. I already bought all the supplies needed to decorate the box. Now I just have to put it all together which I plan on starting this afternoon. This will be my next art project that I blog about.

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Supergirl BackPack - Because That is How I will Feel after Giving Birth!

Supergirl BackPack – Because That is How I will Feel after Giving Birth!

I also have my hospital bag packed and ready to go for when I go into labor. I even have a last minute check list hanging right next to the front door so I won’t forget ANYTHING important. I probably over packed, but it is okay because I would rather have more than enough than not enough. And who knows?! This baby could end up being so big that I end up having to need a C-section. So I feel the need to have plans A, B, and C so I can be prepared for anything. I am very anal about preparedness and having back up plans. I like to be ready for anything that may or may not happen! I also plan to leave candy with the nurses who help deliver Natalia as a friendly thank you gift for their support and hard work. I know this gesture will be greatly appreciated.

For the next two and a half weeks, I’m going to spend my time waiting on the rest of the nursery items to come in so I can add the finishing touches to the nursery, I’m going to relax and spend my time crafting to keep my mind busy, and I’m going to be blogging almost every day to keep my emotions and anxiety under control. I have a few craft ideas that I’ve posted about that I want to work on while I wait for Natalia’s arrival. I’m so very excited to meet my baby girl. ❤

Me on my Date Weekend (:

Me on my Date Weekend (:

Pregnancy Post #17 – 36 Weeks

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Me @ 36 Weeks ♥

*36 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant Today!
*35 Pounds gained since pre-pregnancy.
*27 Days Until Natalia’s Due Date & Head is Already Down! (:

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Before & After Laundry Pics
2 Whole Hours of Washing & Folding Baby Clothes!
They still need to be organized by size and put away. “/

To all my lovely readers, I cannot tell you guys how anxious I have been over the past week (really the whole pregnancy but a lot lately). I am pretty much done doing all the main necessities in the nursery, as I’ve talked about in my last post, however there are still a few touch ups that I still want to do. I even came up with new organizational ideas for the closet. With that said, this morning Natalia’s satin zebra print dresser runner came in the mail this morning! So I wiped down the dresser and neatly placed it on top. Now all I need to do is figure out exactly how I’m going to decorate it. Today I started washing all the baby clothes and did not realize that I have WAY more than I need! I don’t even think Natalia will be able to wear them all before she grows into the next size! This is wonderful because it means she has more than she needs, which makes her the definition of SPOILED, lol. I can honestly say that I am not too much looking forward to doing all this laundry. -_- But I’m glad that I will be able to dress her in a different cute outfit every day though. I’ll be taking lots and lots of pictures to add to the baby book and scrapbook.

14730_15124_logoAside from my generous friends that gave me clothes, and my mother and I buying clothes, I attend a Pregnancy Care Center every two weeks that also gave me a TON of clothes yesterday! I am so grateful that there is a pregnancy care center that I can go to that helps you out with everything you need. The people there are so very kind and thoughtful and I will recommend them to anybody and everybody. You go in to watch a video that has to do with pregnancy, prenatal or postnatal, take a short 5-10 question quiz on the video, and they give you “mommy money” which is paper money that you can spend on items from their resource room. This room is filled from wall to wall, floor to ceiling with alllll kinds of baby items imaginable, all donated. Most of the stuff is brand new and hasn’t even been opened. They have everything from bassinets, bouncers, cribs, swings, breast pumps, blankets, baby hygiene (i.e. shampoo, body wash, etc.) diapers, wipes, baby food, TONS of clothes, shoes, socks, hats, bottles, everything you can think of really. So I was able to spend my mommy money on several of these items yesterday and left with all kinds of useful things, for free! I am so thankful that I am going to donate anything I have to them because they deserve it more than anyone I know. I told my care taker, Ms. Bonnie that I am going to spread the word and let everybody I know about them because I think they are the greatest help center I’ve ever known.

index-1I also had a doctor’s appointment yesterday which my mom accompanied me in. We had an ultrasound so we could measure the baby and see where she is positioned. She is already head down, so she could be here any day from now until her due date. I have a feeling that she could be here earlier than her due date! I had to take a Group B Strep test (whatever that is) and should here the results at my next appointment, which from now on will be once every week until Natalia arrives. I weighed in at 145 pounds, which means I’ve gained a whopping 35 since pre-pregnancy. Hopefully I don’t pass the 40 mark! But this is good and it tells me that I have a big, healthy baby girl inside of me.

541163_325046907564304_7558618_nAdditionally, the baby’s father and I have started talking again for about a week now. We are surprisingly getting along really great (so far) and are going to spend this weekend together in Gainesville. He wants to see me and Natalia, take me out and take me shopping because he is also very excited that it’s this close to our daughter being here and he wants to go baby shopping with me. So we will see how this goes. (:

67952_409927185764809_131833834_nBraxton Hicks contractions are definitely happening more frequently and lasting anywhere from 1-3 minutes. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to the point where I have to be real still and stop everything I’m doing. For instance, the other day while I was taking a shower, I was having a mild contraction that was so intense I actually had to sit down in the shower. But then it went away shortly after and I was fine. Now I know what I can expect during the real event. I have a feeling that I’m going to be able to take this like a champ and hopefully not need any pain medication because my goal is to do this whole thing completely natural. I am very optimistic about this pregnancy and going through labor and I think this will be a fast, uncomplicated birthing experience for me.

0003288417390_300X300Next week I plan to install the car seat and pack my hospital bag. The only reason I haven’t packed the hospital bag yet is because I still need to find out what the hospital will provide so I know what NOT to bring, and I don’t quite have everything I want to bring with me yet. I looked up what a typical outfit would be for the mommy to wear home from the hospital because I have a going home outfit for the baby already, but I have NO clue what I’m going to wear! After reading a few forums from other pregnant women, I have made the decision that what sounds the best for me to wear is a cute cheap sun dress. IMG_20130221_202150Some girls mentioned wearing gauchos or yoga pants, but since I will most likely be bleeding, I don’t think I feel comfortable wearing pants; so a dress is the way to go for me. I get more and more excited everyday about Natalia’s arrival and expressing my feelings definitely helps me out a lot with my anxiety. My next post will be about packing my hospital bag so I can give a detailed example to other girls who would have questions about it like I did.

Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

singleparentI’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

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In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

1351030360504_6986131Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Mother silhouette with babyEven when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

imagesAnother thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

l_101068735Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

My Baby Shower!

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32 Weeks & 5 Days Pregnant @ My Baby Shower (:

2013-01-26_15-09-35_925Well the Big Event is over. Now I can calm down and relax a little bit, lol. The Baby Shower turned out being perfect. 2013-01-26_15-09-30_175Me and my mom got all dressed up, IMG_20130127_123527Jimmy helped us load and unload everything to set up at the park, Ashlee arrived with the most adorable cake and the cutest little boy ever, she helped us with decorating the pavilion with all my cute decorations, set up the food, and got everything set up. IMG_20130127_123610Soon after that, my friend’s Brittney with her adorable son, Gerri, and Jessica arrived. IMG_20130127_123724Brittney unfortunately couldn’t stay because she had a birthday party to attend to at 3, but she was kind enough to come by and give me wonderful gifts. Then my mom’s friend Barbera came, dressed as a clown to entertain the children. She made the boys fun shaped balloons and there was also a park for them to play in. Although, I invited many people, only 4 showed. Some people let me know ahead of time that they couldn’t make it, some people told me they were coming and didn’t, some let me know, some didn’t, some didn’t RSVP at all. Regardless, I was so appreciative of the people who actually cared to let me know what was going on and why they couldn’t make it. I was appreciative of the people who offered me gifts although they could not make it to the shower. I was appreciative for the people who did show up and grateful for their gifts. It actually ended up working out perfect because I had just enough party favors for the guests the came, which were originally intended to be party prizes for the games. I was able to spend individual time with each of my girlfriends and catch up. We listened to music and talked about my pregnancy, old memories, watched old videos, talked about remember-when’s, and ultimately had a great time. It also lasted longer than I intended it to (3 hours) because we were talking so much! They were so interested in my baby stories because none of them had children. Britney did and she gave me all kinds of insight on what to look forward to, but as I mentioned earlier she did not end up staying. I took many pictures, although I wish I would have taken a lot more of me and my mom, me and Britney before she left, a close-up of the table decorations and the beautiful cake, and me opening the baby presents.

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The Ladies: Ms. Barbera, Mom, Me, Jessica, Gerri, Ashlee.

I’m not even going to lie, I was a little disappointed that so many people who told me they were coming didn’t show up (except for the ones who told me why they couldn’t make it of course), especially for the ones who didn’t even bother to let me know anything even though they said they would come. But then I thought to myself: don’t be disappointed! Be grateful because people still came, I have pretty much almost everything I need for the baby’s arrival, I have means of getting everything that I still need, I still had a ton of fun spending time with good old friends, and besides, I know a bunch of girls that never even had the opportunity to have a baby shower, and if they did, never mentioned a thing about it. Then I felt completely better about everything and was actually glad that a bunch of people didn’t show up because my mom and I got to eat all the left over Brazilian candies that we loved so much! ;D

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Mother-To-Be

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Grandmother-To-Be

Me & My Beautiful Mother (:

Me & My Beautiful Mother (:

Today is my birthday and I am 20 years young. My plans are to relax because I’m entirely too exhausted from the weeks activities and the weekend’s events to do anything. Until next weekend, then I will have money to buy myself a couple of birthday presents along with some baby items. Also, my mom’s bf is going to take us out to eat when he gets paid next week as a birthday present. I’m planning on buying some paint and painting supplies to start on Natalia’s dresser. Now that the baby Shower has been checked off, my next project on the to-do list is to start the nursery. So this weekend, I want to buy the supplies I need to do that and get started on getting Natalia’s bedroom set up. Then I have to paint the room, add the border, hang the curtains, add the wall art, put the crib together, wash all clothing and bedding, organize everything and finally take pictures of it all. Hopefully I will induce my own labor doing all this, lol! I’m going to stay as active as possible from this point on until the very last two weeks so I can one, keep myself busy instead lazing around; two, make sure I get the exercise I need; and three, it makes me feel good to be productive, especially if it’s for my little girl. ❤ In my last two weeks, I’m going to get all the sleep I will need before baby girl gets here, and save all the energy I have left to use for labor.

I’m very excited about having so many things to look forward to. Once the nursery is done, I will make Natalia’s baby box (A project I want to create to keep all her keepsakes), make her name project, and start a baby book to keep a memoir of all her baby notes. Then I will be done with projects for a little while so I can tend to and treasure my newborn baby. (:

My Curls (:

The Other Baby Shower Stuff – My Curls (:

Zebra Toes <3

Baby Shower Zebra Toes ❤

Zebra Nails <3

Baby Shower Zebra Nails ❤