Waffles, Waffles, Waffles!

2013-03-17_12-57-33_902 2013-03-02_11-44-05_3312013-03-22_13-14-34_164Waffles are one of my absolute favorite meals to eat for breakfast, or any time of the day really. I LOVE these things! I want to learn how to make them from scratch, but in the mean time I will just eat the frozen ones, even though they are bad for you and the ones from scratch would taste so much better! Actually, when I finally find a good waffle recipe, I will just make a whole bunch of them and freeze my own. Anyways, throughout my youth I have discovered many different ways to eat my waffles, depending on my craving. You can eat them with jelly and butter, peanut butter and jelly (makes a good sandwich too!), peanut butter and pancake syrup, chocolate chips and pancake syrup, and plenty more! You can add fruit on top of it to make it a healthy meal, or you can eat them plain with just syrup, or butter whichever you prefer. It’s a fun, easy meal that is suitable for any time of the day. (:

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My Labor Experience

Well here’s the post everyone’s been waiting for. I’m going to start from the very beginning:

At 41 weeks, Jacob and I started doing everything, literally EVERYTHING, to induce my labor. From eating spicy food, going on bumpy rides every single day, walking until my feet felt like they would fall off (BTW I didn’t swell during my entire pregnancy because I drank plenty of water), doing the dirty, acupressure, massages, bananas, yoga, stripping my membranes (twice!), whatever you can think of, we did it, and NOTHING WORKED. So my conclusion on inducing labor based on my personal experience is that nothing can induce labor, your baby comes whenever he/she decides to come.

I was scheduled to be induced Monday morning, and as much as I was opting not to be induced, I was going to let them because one, it would be safer for the baby not to exceed 42 weeks in utero, and two I would be more than ready at that point for Natalia to be here. Fortunately my water finally broke the Friday afternoon prior to my induction date. At first I wasn’t sure if it broke or not, so I asked my mom what it felt like. She said it feels like you’re uncontrollably peeing on yourself. Soon after that, about 15 minutes, I was confirmed of my water breaking because liquid started pouring out, lol. I didn’t call the Doctor nor did I go to the hospital. I waited until I started having contractions 5-10 apart for an hour like my doctors instructed, which didn’t happen until 18 hours later. Bad idea for me to not go in right away because of the risk of infection, but how was I supposed to know? This is my first time having a baby, and BOTH of my GYN’s told me not to come in until I started having contractions. There was no mention of my water breaking. And since I’m totally healthy, I didn’t think there was any reason for me or my baby to develop an “infection”. According to what I researched, the vaginal exams are what cause infections in the first place, which makes complete sense to me.

So the next morning around 6am I started having mild contractions, then they increased in pain and decreased in time apart, so by 8 am Jacob and I were on our way to the hospital. When we got there the nurses asked me if my water broke & I told them yes it did, yesterday afternoon. They all looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I waited so long to come in. I told them that I didn’t feel the need to come in because everything seemed fine and that my Doctor told me not to come in until I was having contractions, so I was simply following instructions. Well, when they started my IV they told me they were going to start me on antibiotics. In shock I asked “for what?” And the nurse said “the GBS that you’re positive for”. I was in total disbelief and said “excuse me, but what in the world are you talking about?” She explained to me that I was positive for Group B Strep, (the test they give you when you’re 36 weeks) and that the baby has been swimming in infected amniotic fluid for the entire time since my water broke. GBS (Group B Strep) is a bacteria that is carried by both men and women, that does not affect adults but can be very harmful for unborn babies, which is why pregnant women ate tested for it at 36 weeks. Men will never know if they have it or not because they will never be tested for it since they obviously can’t get pregnant. Well when I took the test, nothing was ever mentioned about it after that, so I assumed I was negative. I would expect a Doctor to tell you the results of your tests, ESPECIALLY if you’re positive for it, don’t you?! So yeah, I was carrying this infection and had no idea about it. I was infuriated by this new found information because now my baby is at risk. If I would’ve known about this infection, I would’ve been at the hospital the day before when my water broke.

Anyways, once your water breaks you have 24 hours to get the baby out or it can become something serious. So I had 6 hours to deliver my daughter and I was only 2 cm dilated (and have been for two weeks!). They started me on pitocin right away. 2 hours later they checked my cervix to find that I was still only 2 cm dilated, so a c-section was the final decision. At first I wanted to cry because I felt cheated out of my wanting for a natural delivery since I was never informed about this infection that could be potentially fatal to my unborn daughter. I also was not so phsyched about having such a dramatic surgery, especially since I’ve never had surgery of any kind. I asked the nurses if they had c-sections and even asked if I could see their scars because I also wasn’t very excited about having such a large scar on my belly. One of the young nurses showed me not her scar because it was so low, but pulled her shirt up just to show me that the scar was below her panty line. I couldn’t even see it! And she was so skinny you wouldn’t even be able to tell that she had a baby, and she had 2! So that made me feel A LOT better about it. So on we went with the procedure.

They had me fill out all kinds of forms and explained to Jacob and I what would be happening. He had to change into scrubs so he could be there with me while the doctors carried me into the operation room so they could numb me from the waist down. They gave me a spinal anesthetic that literally took 5 seconds to kick in. I felt a rush of a numbing sensation that actually felt really good, lol! I felt very shaky though shortly afterwards which I didn’t like too much. Also, the shot they gave me was a MUCH smaller needle than that of the epidural, which I was very happy about because that was the very reason I had decided I wasn’t going to have an epidural if this would’ve happened naturally.

They cut me open and tugged, pushed and pulled (which I could feel a lot of although it didn’t hurt, it was just a lot of pressure) and then out came the baby, 7lbs. and 14oz. of her. About a minute later I heard her first cry and was in tears at the amazing sound that I had waited 9 long months to hear. Jacob cried with me and we were both very happy. However, because she was infected, they took her from us right away. I got to see her and kiss her cheek before she left and dad asked to see her hair because she was wearing a cap. When they took it off, we were amazed to see a head full of dark hair, just like I dreamed about!

So they took me to the recovery room while we waited to hear from the doctor’s what was going on with Natalia. Now there are a lot of details to what was happening between the surgery and the end, so I’m just going to make the long story short: The doctors were concerned about her breathing patterns. They ran blood tests and white blood cell tests which came back triple the amount of what was normal, meaning that her body was already building white blood cells to fight off whatever infection she had. They were also concerned about some “seizure-like episodes” that she was supposedly having which made the nurses decide to transfer her to Wolfson Children’s Hospital in Jacksonville because they were a small town hospital that did not have all the tools needed to run the tests they wanted her to have. They weren’t sure what she was doing because she’s a  newborn, hence their wanting to run tests just to make sure she was acting normal. I was completely devastated because the doctors made it seem like she was having all these problems, they even mentioned a possibility of meningitis. I cried so hard and asked “what are they going to do to my baby?!” Jacob tried his hardest to keep his composure because I was so upset about everything and then he broke down and started crying with me.

Natalia went through so much in the first days of her life in the outside world. She IV’s since she was born, she had all kinds of tests run on her, she had MRI’s she had her spine tapped, all kinds of bullshit. I know that they were just trying to be on the safe side, but what new mom wants to see her first baby go through all this trauma?! Anyways, in the end Natalia was completely fine. They ran all these tests just to find nothing wrong with her. She just had an infection and the antibiotics they started me on before the surgery killed it just in time. So we went through all this heartache for nothing. It was very crazy. We ended up being in the hospital for 5 days before finally bringing her home.I was in the hospital for 3 days recovering from the surgery. They transferred Natalia on my second day of recovery so I couldn’t even go to the hospital to be with my baby until the next day. Jacob had to drive from Lake City to Jacksonville, back to Lake City to pick me up, back to Jacksonville so we could be at the hospital every day and then finally back to Lake City so we could come home, and then he had to drive back so he could go home, lol! Lots and lots of driving.

At the end of the day, there were a lot of lessons learned from this entire experience. Although it was scary, it was very worth it and I am happy to say that I am a new mom to a very happy and healthy baby girl. According to her pediatrician she eats better than the average baby for her size and is growing at a great rate. She is such a good baby, hardly ever cries unless she needs something. She is always very content and has such a well-developed personality already. She’s definitely mommy and daddy’s little diva girl!

I also would like to mention that my perspective about c-sections have dramatically changed since I underwent the surgery. I actually prefer to have the c-section because I didn’t have to feel any pain WHATSOEVER, everything went by so quick it was unbelievable. The entire procedure took a total of 55 minutes. No contractions, no pain, GREAT pain meds during and afterwards lol, and my little girls head did not get squished and my vagina didn’t rip! The scar is barely noticeable, looks like a pen line just below my bikini line and nobody will ever be able to see it unless I show them, which means I can still wear my bikini this summer! Best of all, this entire event brought me and Jacob closer together and he loves me more now than ever before since having to be there with me and watching me go through all of this craziness. I definitely want to share my story because I think it’s well worth mentioning to people. Always prepare for the worst because you never know what’s going to happen, and always be optimistic about negative things that you have no control over because they are not always as bad as they seem.

Today my baby girl is 2 weeks and 3 days old and she is making the cutest “ooh” and “ahh” sounds, she picks her head up all by herself to look around because she wants to see everything, she will NOT fall asleep without being held, so she’s already spoiled, lol! (Thanks Jacob!)

One more thing I want to add before I conclude my super long birth story; because Natalia was taken from me right from the beginning, we didn’t get to experience the first bonding of mother and baby to establish breastfeeding, which is essential! And I am completely against giving my baby formula for several reasons. One because I’m pro-natural, two because I don’t feel that formula gives babies everything they need like breast milk does, three because of all the side effects that come from formula fed babies that I’ve researched, such as being more prone to obesity and becoming sick with diseases, and four because although the formula feeds the baby for longer periods of time (formula fed babies eat 6-10 times a day vs. breastfed babies eat 8-12 times a day) which means the formula “sits” in their stomachs and that just reminds me of McDonald’s food which is totally gross in my opinion. I already decided I wanted to breastfeed exclusively. Well since I didn’t get to breastfeed for the first week, I didn’t establish a good milk supply, so I couldn’t produce enough milk to feed my baby. Not only that but the doctors shoved bottles and pacifiers in my newborn baby’s mouth which pissed me the **** off! If they needed to syringe feed her then okay, but I was not about the pacifiers or bottles because of nipple confusion. So Natalia had a difficult time latching on for the first week and a half of our being together. It was making me sore and I was to the point where I was about to just give up all together. But then I decided “screw that!” I’m not going to give up because I WANT this for my baby, so I’m going to MAKE SURE it happens, no matter what it takes. If I have to breastfeed her every half hour then so be it. I consulted with a lactation specialist who was so inspired by my determination and told me that that’s what it takes, you have to really want to breastfeed for it to work out, which is what I truly want, exclusively. I only will use formula if I have to supplement, but otherwise I want to strictly breastfeed my baby mostly because it’s the healthiest for her, but also because it does establish a bonding relationship with you and your baby that just feels like pure love, and I want that with me and Natalia. So I have a $700 hospital grade breast pump that I’m using FOR FREE for a week-2 weeks just because my lactation specialist wants to help me because she sees how bad I want this. Unfortunately Natalia and I had a rough start, but now that things are back to normal we are going to work this out to both of our benefits. My advice to anybody else out there with this problem is to never give up on the things that you truly want. I am proud to say that Natalia has gotten MUCH better about latching on (although she still needs some improvement) and I am finally being able to produce enough milk to catch up with her needs. (:

Bringing Natalia Home <3

Bringing Natalia Home ❤

Natalia & I Now (:

Natalia & I Now (:

Nesting Projects

Well, since I need to start relaxing for my last 3 weeks of pregnancy, I figured I would get on Pinterest and find some inspiring ideas to occupy my time. I found quite a few amazing project ideas that I’m going to work on for the next couple of weeks while I wait on the rest of Natalia’s nursery decorations to come in the mail before I finish her bedroom!

Untitled#1. Cord Labels – I definitely need to organize my cables because I have so many that I have NO IDEA which is which! So this will be an easy organization project that will save me a lot of time and frustration. I have plenty of bread bag clips that I’ve been collecting since I pinned this, so I have enough to get started! I might decide to make mine extra cute and color them with a hot pink sharpie! ;D

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#2. Toiletry Travel Case – Since I went to Gainesville over the weekend and me and my baby’s father are hours apart, this is the perfect travel case for me to make so I can bring it with me! I can foresee myself traveling a lot in the mere future, so this is definitely a must have for me. I already have cute colorful towels, sewing supplies and ribbon, so there’s no additional shopping I need to do to make this project. (:

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#3. Scarf Organizer – I absolutely LOVE this idea. I’ve seen quite a few of these on Pinterest, but this one is by far the cutest one I’ve seen. I want to make one JUST like but in Pink or Turquoise! I can get the shower rings at the Dollar Tree and the pretty ribbon at Walmart. I already have bright colored paint to paint polka dots and the white hanger. So this will be an easy project to organize my scarves. Then once I hang them I will have an extra drawer of space in my closet to add other stuff, like all the additional craft supplies that I have!

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#4. Duct Taped Clipboard – This is a simple 5 minute project that I want to make. I just need a clipboard! (Dollar Tree) I have the duct tape, But I also want to add a pretty pink ribbon at the top just to give it my personal girly touch! Then I can hang it on my wall so it will be an easy grab and go kind of thing and also add decoration to my plain walls. ❤

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#5. Decorative Storage Tins – Another cute idea I came across that will be easy to make! I like the cheetah print and the black, but I might change it up. I’m not too sure exactly what colors or patterns I want to use, nor what to use them for, but I will figure it out once I start making them. So far, I’m thinking of decorating them with the theme of Natalia’s room and putting them in there for storage and decoration. I could put all my baby-related samples in them, or coupons, maybe even hair bows (although I would rather hang them on the wall). The idea will come to me! I don’t have popcorn tins, but I do have empty coffee tins that I could use.

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#6. Oatmeal Can Headband Holder – This idea is very similar to the one prior. I kind of like this one a little better, so I might just blend the two ideas together! I like the fact that you can wrap headbands around this and still be able to open it up to throw in the clips, hair ties and other hair accessories.

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#7. Baby Room Door Muff – Awesome idea! I love how cute and purposeful this is. It’s also very easy to make and I have all the materials needed to make it, so this is definitely on the project list!

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#8. Convenient Bib Hanger – This is so perfect and what a great place for them to be! Very convenient baby bib organization. All I need is a large stick-on hanger that I can get very cheap pretty much anywhere. *Added to the grocery list. (;

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#9. Maternity Photo Idea – I plan to take some professional maternity photos with my baby’s father’s uncle for free and this would be the perfect idea for it. Especially if it is an all black and white photo with the color splash ribbon. This is more of an idea/plan than a project, but it’s definitely on the to-do list!

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#10. Healthy Carbonated Beverage – Last but not least an easy delicious beverage recipe to satisfy my sweet tooth and still get the nutrients I need. This delicious blended fruit soda blend will be on my list of drinks to try before I have this baby. (:

So these are my top ten nesting ideas & projects that I want to do while I wait for Natalia’s arrival. I will start my shopping tomorrow afternoon and my next post will look exactly like this one, except they will consist of all MY personal project photos. ♥

Pregnancy Post #17 – 36 Weeks

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Me @ 36 Weeks ♥

*36 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant Today!
*35 Pounds gained since pre-pregnancy.
*27 Days Until Natalia’s Due Date & Head is Already Down! (:

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Before & After Laundry Pics
2 Whole Hours of Washing & Folding Baby Clothes!
They still need to be organized by size and put away. “/

To all my lovely readers, I cannot tell you guys how anxious I have been over the past week (really the whole pregnancy but a lot lately). I am pretty much done doing all the main necessities in the nursery, as I’ve talked about in my last post, however there are still a few touch ups that I still want to do. I even came up with new organizational ideas for the closet. With that said, this morning Natalia’s satin zebra print dresser runner came in the mail this morning! So I wiped down the dresser and neatly placed it on top. Now all I need to do is figure out exactly how I’m going to decorate it. Today I started washing all the baby clothes and did not realize that I have WAY more than I need! I don’t even think Natalia will be able to wear them all before she grows into the next size! This is wonderful because it means she has more than she needs, which makes her the definition of SPOILED, lol. I can honestly say that I am not too much looking forward to doing all this laundry. -_- But I’m glad that I will be able to dress her in a different cute outfit every day though. I’ll be taking lots and lots of pictures to add to the baby book and scrapbook.

14730_15124_logoAside from my generous friends that gave me clothes, and my mother and I buying clothes, I attend a Pregnancy Care Center every two weeks that also gave me a TON of clothes yesterday! I am so grateful that there is a pregnancy care center that I can go to that helps you out with everything you need. The people there are so very kind and thoughtful and I will recommend them to anybody and everybody. You go in to watch a video that has to do with pregnancy, prenatal or postnatal, take a short 5-10 question quiz on the video, and they give you “mommy money” which is paper money that you can spend on items from their resource room. This room is filled from wall to wall, floor to ceiling with alllll kinds of baby items imaginable, all donated. Most of the stuff is brand new and hasn’t even been opened. They have everything from bassinets, bouncers, cribs, swings, breast pumps, blankets, baby hygiene (i.e. shampoo, body wash, etc.) diapers, wipes, baby food, TONS of clothes, shoes, socks, hats, bottles, everything you can think of really. So I was able to spend my mommy money on several of these items yesterday and left with all kinds of useful things, for free! I am so thankful that I am going to donate anything I have to them because they deserve it more than anyone I know. I told my care taker, Ms. Bonnie that I am going to spread the word and let everybody I know about them because I think they are the greatest help center I’ve ever known.

index-1I also had a doctor’s appointment yesterday which my mom accompanied me in. We had an ultrasound so we could measure the baby and see where she is positioned. She is already head down, so she could be here any day from now until her due date. I have a feeling that she could be here earlier than her due date! I had to take a Group B Strep test (whatever that is) and should here the results at my next appointment, which from now on will be once every week until Natalia arrives. I weighed in at 145 pounds, which means I’ve gained a whopping 35 since pre-pregnancy. Hopefully I don’t pass the 40 mark! But this is good and it tells me that I have a big, healthy baby girl inside of me.

541163_325046907564304_7558618_nAdditionally, the baby’s father and I have started talking again for about a week now. We are surprisingly getting along really great (so far) and are going to spend this weekend together in Gainesville. He wants to see me and Natalia, take me out and take me shopping because he is also very excited that it’s this close to our daughter being here and he wants to go baby shopping with me. So we will see how this goes. (:

67952_409927185764809_131833834_nBraxton Hicks contractions are definitely happening more frequently and lasting anywhere from 1-3 minutes. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to the point where I have to be real still and stop everything I’m doing. For instance, the other day while I was taking a shower, I was having a mild contraction that was so intense I actually had to sit down in the shower. But then it went away shortly after and I was fine. Now I know what I can expect during the real event. I have a feeling that I’m going to be able to take this like a champ and hopefully not need any pain medication because my goal is to do this whole thing completely natural. I am very optimistic about this pregnancy and going through labor and I think this will be a fast, uncomplicated birthing experience for me.

0003288417390_300X300Next week I plan to install the car seat and pack my hospital bag. The only reason I haven’t packed the hospital bag yet is because I still need to find out what the hospital will provide so I know what NOT to bring, and I don’t quite have everything I want to bring with me yet. I looked up what a typical outfit would be for the mommy to wear home from the hospital because I have a going home outfit for the baby already, but I have NO clue what I’m going to wear! After reading a few forums from other pregnant women, I have made the decision that what sounds the best for me to wear is a cute cheap sun dress. IMG_20130221_202150Some girls mentioned wearing gauchos or yoga pants, but since I will most likely be bleeding, I don’t think I feel comfortable wearing pants; so a dress is the way to go for me. I get more and more excited everyday about Natalia’s arrival and expressing my feelings definitely helps me out a lot with my anxiety. My next post will be about packing my hospital bag so I can give a detailed example to other girls who would have questions about it like I did.

Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

singleparentI’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

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In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

1351030360504_6986131Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Mother silhouette with babyEven when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

imagesAnother thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

l_101068735Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

Pregnancy Post #12 – 31 Weeks

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31 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant

I am 31 weeks pregnant as of Monday. My next OB appointment isn’t for another two weeks, but there is a lot going on between now and then!

I revised my birth plan and made it to be more flexible about the circumstances that will/could be involved in my delivery. Also, my mother and I toured the hospital where I would deliver Natalia earlier this afternoon. It was very short and sweet, we were in and out it probably less than 15 minutes. They showed us an empty room that was fairly small, but the fetal monitoring and newborn care stuff were all in the same room; so mommy & baby are never separated, which is my favorite aspect about it. The hospital is very quiet, serene and peaceful-NOTHING AT ALL like the hospitals in the city (I’m referring to Jacksonville). I was very surprised about how nice this hospital actually is. I’m actually not at all worried about delivering at a hospital anymore, now that I got an idea of what the environment will be like.

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A few Baby Shower Decorations. (:

I’ve already started planning my baby shower. I am excited and anxious about this more than anything. I’ve made the invitation and invited the guests, I’ve ordered my dress and some decorations, and for the next week days I’m going to work on making the rest of the decorations, the games, and the music I want to play during the event. I have a veryyy busy next couple of weeks! I have a pregnancy care class to go to tomorrow morning, my baby shower Saturday, my birthday Sunday (Yay, I’ll be 20!), Dr. appointment the following week and then I’ll be starting the baby nursery paint and set up. I envisioned how I wanted the nursery to look like and then I sketched it on paper to get a more realistic visual of what I want. I’m happy that I have so many exciting plans to look forward to. I know everything is going to have a perfect result because I’ve preplanned and thought out everything, what it’s going to look like and how much its going to cost.

As for me personally, physically, and emotionally, I’m doing fantastic. The only complaint I have is the increasing occurrence of “Braxton Hicks” pains. They’re not unbearable, but they sure are uncomfortable! I cope with them by either walking them out or swaying my hips, something that moves me around to help distract me. Eventually, usually shortly after, I forget about them and they go away.

UntitledAccording to my pregnancy app, Natalia is well over 16 inches long and already weighs 3.5 pounds! Feeling her move so high on my stomach close to my boobs, and in my pelvis at the same time feels kind of funny. There’s a big baby in my belly I can feel it, lol! It’s becoming more uncomfortable than cute, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. But I love feeling her so active in her little home, it reassures me how healthy and happy she is. (:

Other than that, everything else feels great. Morning sickness has ceased (for now, ‘knock on wood’), No additional stretch marks, I’m gaining the perfect amount of weight, not too much not too little, I am actively doing my yoga at least every other day, I’m getting things done on a daily basis at a very convenient pace, I feel positive about myself, my life and everything that’s happening in it, and I have nothing but good expectations and positive intentions for the future.

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Sweet Potato Casserole

Now this is the perfect side dish to go with ANY meal. It’s sweet, healthy (somewhat) and tastes oh so delicious! I have made it once before and it turned out amazing. This is the second time around, and it seems to taste even better than before. I don’t remember where I got the recipe from, but here it is for you guys to try. It takes about an hour for the potatoes to bake, but after that it only takes 5 minutes to prepare and about 15-20 minutes to cook.

2013-01-13_20-54-23_985Ingredients:

  • 6 medium sweet potatoes (about 2 lbs.)
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tbsp. barley malt syrup
  • 2 tbsp. softened margarine or butter
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 tbsp. cinnamon
  • 1 cup orange juice
  • 2 tbsp. honey
  • ½ cup pecan halves

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 425°F.
  2. Bake sweet potatoes until tender, about 45-60 minutes. Remove and discard skin.
  3. Reduce oven to 375°F.
  4. Mash Potatoes & beat eggs, syrup, 1 tbsp. margarine, salt & cinnamon. Add enough orange juice to moisten and make fluffy.
  5. Spoon into a 1 ½ qt. baking dish and drizzle with honey and remaining 1 tbsp. margarine. Sprinkle with pecans and bake for 20 minutes. Serve warm.

NOTE: I only had three potatoes, so I used half of the amount of ingredients.

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1 Serving :

179 Calories
3 g. Protein
168 mg. Sodium
18 g. Carbs
12 g. Fat
71 mg. Chol.
25 mg. Calcium