Pregnancy Post #15 – 34 Weeks

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34 Weeks & 1 Day Pregnant

34 Weeks 4 days pregnant today and counting! It is incredibly hard to believe that I am less than 6 weeks away from delivering the most beautiful little girl. I am so ecstatic and cannot wait until my little Natalia gets here. Wow, she’s got her momma so anxious to meet her! Every time, I feel her, think about her, talk about her, or see anything baby and girly, a huge smile forces itself across my face. She makes me so happy and she’s not even here yet. I didn’t know it was possible to love somebody so much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my mother with every inch of heart, but it’s just not the same kind of love that you have for your own child. Now I know how much my mom loves me. (:

Of course, one of my BIGGEST flaws kicked in: my procrastination. I was supposed to be done with painting Natalia’s dresser by now, but a couple of road bumps delayed me. First, I didn’t have everything I thought I needed. Then I realized I bought too much paint, so I had to return it and buy a smaller (more affordable) amount. Then I lost the brushes I bought, so by the time I found those I really didn’t even feel like painting anymore. But then, I finally was able to get everything I needed together: primer, paint, tape, trays, brushes, sandpaper, and shower curtain liners to catch the mess.

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As you can see, the dresser is disgusting.

I’ve already taken the dresser apart, sanded it down, primed it, and painted one coat. Tomorrow I’m going to finish it with a second coat and then when it drys, prepare the room for the walls to be painted. Since I don’t have a man around to help, I’m all on my own, which is also why it’s taking me so long to do a less than 24 hour job. But hey? I’m pregnant! So it’s totally fine that I’m taking my sweet time to do this. I don’t feel guilty one little bit. I’m totally capable of moving the things that are in the room around without straining myself or lifting anything heavy. When I get ready to paint the walls I have to move everything to one side of the room, paint half of it, let it dry, and then move everything to the other side so I can paint the other half. This will probably take me an entire week to finish! I also plan on ordering some cute zebra handles and knobs that I saw on Amazon to replace the old ugly, rusted gold ones that I will hate to have to put those back on. Then I will finally start putting her crib and changing table together and organize the room to make it look like the perfect nursery for my princess.

2 outfits for 2 bucks @JCP! :D

2 outfits for 2 bucks @JCP! 😀

I’ve been doing quite a lot of shopping lately, but allllllll baby stuff, so it’s not guilty shopping, it’s productive shopping. That’s my positive way of looking at spending money. I got a bunch of bottles, cloth diapers, clothes, and some hygiene items; plus the paint for her room and dresser. I don’t know a whole lot, but I know one thing is for sure: Natalia will never lack anything. I will always make sure I make provisions to be able to provide for my daughter. She will always have everything she needs and be able to depend on me as a mother until she is old enough to care for herself. I am very fortunate to be able to provide for her on my own. But of course, I’m not completely on my own. Fortunately I have a mother who is very supportive of me and my pregnancy, and we help each other. She’s my best friend. My only hope is that my daughter and I will have the same kind of relationship with each other that my mother and I have. ❤

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Primed Dresser.

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Dresser drawers in the hallway out of MY way. (:

I don’t see my doctor again until next week. After that I will start having weekly appointments, so there will be a medical update on every post from then on. So far, everything looks, sounds and feels perfect. Well maybe not that last one. At my next appointment, I’m going to have the doctor recommend me a good pediatrician for Natalia. In the last week I was experiencing this somewhat painful pressure in my abdomen. It was right under my right breast in my rib cage it felt like, and sometimes when I would cough it hurt real bad, or when I would breathe in too deeply, I could feel a lot of pressure there. I was getting concerned about it because it wouldn’t let up and considered coming into the doctor’s office without an appointment because it was hurting so bad. But before I freaked out, I researched it online just to see if it might be something completely normal and sure enough: it is. Turns out that the pain I was experiencing had to do with the baby and the growing uterus putting pressure on my rib cage and other ligaments, thus causing this on and off pain. Actually, I read several different articles about this from girls who are pregnant at 18 weeks, 20 weeks, & 25 weeks. So then I thought, well, I’m already 34 weeks and JUST now starting to feel this pain? I must be one of the lucky ones! And after that the pain subsided. Then it went away, and I haven’t felt anything like it ever since. I’m so glad that I think before freaking out and actually take the time to figure out my own problems without running to every which person for an answer or solution.

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A couple of Natalia’s things I bought this week ❤

If you’re considering buying maternity jeans, I recommend that you save your money unless you buy them used. To me, they were pretty much a waste of my money. I bought a pair of the cutest maternity jeans online at Amazon for $30. Sadly, I won’t be able to wear them past my 8th month. Shoot, I can barely squeeze into those things now! They are very stylish, but when I sit down, the seam connecting the jean part to the fabric part just cuts into my skin and is SOOOOOO uncomfortable. The funny thing is, I had a pair of skinny jeans that were so stretchy around the waist line that they fit perfectly as my maternity jeans! It’s weird that I had them because when I would wear them before I got pregnant, I constantly had to pull them back up on me because the waist was so stretchy that they just would not stay up. But I’m glad I kept them because they ended up serving me a great purpose during my entire pregnancy, and I still plan on wearing them afterwards! ;D

1/2 way

1/2 way

1st coat done!

1st coat done!

As for Natalia, she is growing more and more each day. I feel like there’s a little sumo wrestler inside of me because sometimes she kicks me so hard, I jerk and jump and make noises thinking “somebody’s beating me up in there!” I get a kick out of it. Her soft little kicks have now turned into some hardcore karate chops (it feels like) and I can’t wait for my next appointment when they do the last ultrasound because then I will get to see exactly which of her body parts keeps pushing me on my right side, lol! The most interesting thing about her is how clever she is already to be just in utero. She is very responsive to things outside of the womb. For instance, the other day, my mom’s boyfriend dropped a pan on the floor and the noise was so loud it scared the baby and made her kick me really hard. So she obviously doesn’t like loud noises, thank goodness for that!

As it gets closer and closer to my due date, the reality of transitioning from a young lady to a young mother is becomes more and more real to me, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Lord knows I’m ready to hold this precious baby girl in my arms already! I am going to try my best to remain patient because I don’t want to rush time since it has gone by so fast. I want to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy one day at a time. ❤

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^ 35 Weeks & 4 Days Pregnant Photos From This Afternoon. (:

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Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

singleparentI’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

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In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

1351030360504_6986131Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Mother silhouette with babyEven when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

imagesAnother thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

l_101068735Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

Pregnancy Post #13 – 32 Weeks

Before I get started, this is just a friendly note for my readers: The purpose of my pregnancy posts is solely to express my thoughts about my pregnancy and to describe my productive daily activities. I understand that sometimes I write a whole lot, but that’s because I have a whole lot to talk about. I don’t expect anybody to read everything I write because it will probably bore some of you. I assume this because I personally don’t like to read any super loooooong post about somebody’s life that I don’t even know, although sometimes I find it interesting to read about how other people spend their days. So for anybody who gets bored of my forever long posts, I apologize. And for those of you who enjoy reading my posts, I’m glad you enjoy reading about the things I enjoy spending my days doing. So the following is another one of my long pregnancy posts about the things I’ve been doing since my last post, and I hope you enjoy it. (:

31 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant.

31 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant.

  • 32 Weeks and 2 Days Pregnant Today!
  • Gained a total of 30 pounds since pre-pregnancy.
  • Upcoming Events: Baby Shower on Saturday, Birthday on Sunday, Dr. Appt. on Tuesday.

For the past couple of weeks, something has completely come over me, and I think it is what most people refer to as “nesting”. I have all kinds of energy and tons ideas running through my head all day and night. I find myself excessively cleaning & cooking, writing more to do lists than usual, and finding all kinds of crafting ideas to keep me busy. I’m making a bunch of cute decorations and my own games for my baby shower. I have a folder of saved Pinterest pictures of ideas that I want to do for the baby’s nursery. I also have shopping lists of all kinds of crafts that I want to have around the house that I can work on when I have nothing to do! This past week I have become OBSESSED with Pinterest, pinning all kinds of cute things to make for Natalia and her bedroom, organizing her closet, redesigning her dresser, etc. I am so excited about all my new findings and even more excited that I have all kinds of things to spend my time doing. This is good because then I have all kinds of things to blog about! ;D

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Thumbnails from left to right:
Covering cheap plastic bins with fabric.
Glitter and glue on wine glasses to make them sparkle.
Using fabric scraps to make a collage on canvas.
Bows to decorate crib posts.
Handmade fabric, felt and paper nursery chandelier.
A child’s bean bag using 1 yd. of fabric.
A cookie sheet and fabric to make a magnet board.

Pinterest Inspired Cable Organizers.

Pinterest Inspired Cable Organizers.

The ideas that I’m finding are so easy to make and take no time at all! For example, I found this adorable organization idea for all my loose wires that are jumbled up in drawers. I don’t know what half of them are for! You save all your cardboard toilet paper rolls, which I have MORE THAN ENOUGH of since I am constantly going to the bathroom! Then you wrap your wires in them and set them neatly in a box. It’s perfect! The only thing is, I thought that plain cardboard rolls were kind of ugly, so I decided to decorate mine. I found some hot pink duct tape that I bought a couple years ago for a high school project and taped my cardboard rolls up. Then I labeled them with a sharpie so I would know exactly what that wire is used for. Viola; pretty in pink organized wires. Super cute, super easy and super cheap! I also like the idea that I can recycle things that are usually thrown away.

As I’ve said before, I’ve been making countless lists of alllllll kinds of things ranging from to-do lists, to shopping lists, to idea’s lists, wish lists, etc. I really enjoy making to-do lists on the daily, and anybody who knows me will confirm this, because it keeps me busy, organized, and best of all, it helps me not to forget the things I need to do! I find my lists very helpful and I usually like to write them in different colored pens and doodle all over them to make them pretty. If you haven’t noticed already, I am a HUGE girly girl that loves all things pink and glittery. So I attempt to make everything of mine as so.

Anyways, back to my pregnancy notes, my baby shower is this Saturday and I am SO super excited about it!!! All my decorations have been delivered, and so has my dress. I have to mention that the dress looks absolutely FABULOUS on me! It’s pink and black to match the colors of my shower, and I have the perfect matching shoes to go with it. The decorations are perfect and can be re-used for future parties. My 20th birthday is on Sunday, but since I’m having the baby shower party, I’m not going to have a birthday party. It’s going to be kind of a birthday party and a baby shower, but I don’t want people to feel obligated to bring me baby presents and birthday presents, so it’s going to be labeled as strictly baby shower, lol. Because I’m making the baby shower such a huge production, I don’t really have any special plans for my birthday. After all, it’s just another year older and it’s not even a special number. So I think what I’m going to do is just get really dressed up, (pink & glittery!) go out to eat at a special restaurant and go shopping for some make-up supplies that have been on my wish list for the longest time. That sounds like the perfect birthday celebration for this momma this year! And then next year when I turn 21, I will have a fancy cocktail party! (;

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Pregnancy Preparedness!

Pregnancy Preparedness!

My next doctor’s appointment is on Tuesday and my mother will be accompanying me to this one because the doctor is going to give me one last ultrasound to see where the baby is positioned. I already know where she’s positioned because I felt her turning in me and I can feel where her heartbeat is exactly when I feel my belly. I still have no additional stretch marks other than the 2 itsy bitsy teeny tiny ones right above my belly button, which would not even be there if I had waited to get it pierced! But I’m very fortunate to only have those and I’m not going to look negatively at them because I think they are the cutest little marks that represent Natalia’s kisses on my body. This is the joy of being young and pregnant! My advice to any woman as far as stretch marks is to drink lemonade or incorporate lemon in your diet in some way, shape or form. Lemon is proven to have many beneficiary factors including skin elasticity and you can look it up if you don’t believe me. I also advise that you moisturize EVERY SINGLE DAY before bed. I’ not going to lie, there were a few times when I forgot to moisturize, but for the most part I did a damn good job at making sure my belly stayed lotioned up! Now, every woman is different and this might not work for everybody, but it worked for me and let me just note that I am very fair-skinned which makes me more prone to stretch marks. But I am very proud of the way my body handled this pregnancy in every way so far.

Over all, I am an extremely happy mommy-to-be and I find myself thinking about Natalia being here in my arms more and more each day. I am enjoying my pregnancy and having all the free time in the world to do whatever I want. I’m spending most of my time preparing and making things for baby girl. I don’t have any crazy dreams, or crazy emotional spasms like most pregnant women complain about, I sleep fairly good except for getting up to pee in the middle of the night (I also can’t wait to be able to sleep on my stomach again). I can still bend over to paint my toenails, although not for very long. I’m enjoying reading and learning about the things that I can do and make that are all-natural and safe to use on my baby for when she gets here. Best of all, I am very fortunate and appreciative not to have to work while pregnant and still have income to get the things that I need to get done, especially being a single mom. I am patiently awaiting the day when I can hold my precious little girl in my arms, look at her in her (hopefully blue) eyes and tell her how much mommy loves her. ❤

32 Weeks & 2 Days Pregnant (:

32 Weeks & 2 Days Pregnant (: