Pregnancy Post #18 – 37 Weeks

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37 Weeks & 2 Days Pregnant Photo

*37 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant Today!
*146 Pounds

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Us @ Oaks Mall

Sorry about the slack on the blogging. I’ve just had a very eventful week and weekend, so I haven’t had too much time to squeeze in a blog. But I’m back! So here’s the update. (:

This past weekend, Jacob came to visit me in Lake City so he could spend time with me and the Natalia before she arrives. He was very eager to see how big my belly has gotten since the last time we’ve seen each other. Also he wanted to buy a few items for the baby to help me better prepare for her arrival. Over all I had a wonderful weekend with him. He took me out to eat at several places: Jason’s Deli, Starbucks, Hungry Howie’s, Krispy Kreme, Carraba’s, making sure he satisfied all my cravings.

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Jason’s Deli Lunch

Carraba's Dinner

Carraba’s Dinner

He bought Natalia a few outfits, even though she really didn’t need them (lol), a very expensive baby book from Hallmark ($45), my diaper bag along with all the items on my online Amazon shopping cart, some baby hygiene products such as shampoo and body wash, and a couple of things for me as well, like adorable black, glittery flip flops and the cutest flower earrings ever! He was definitely very generous to me and very sweet to me on our very busy and romantic weekend before I have the baby. He made sure I got plenty of exercise as we walked around the big mall of Gainesville and the strip of Downtown as well as plenty of rest in the hotel where we stayed at.

Clothes for Natalia from Daddy

Clothes for Natalia from Daddy

We went on a very nice walk in the downtown area of Gainesville where it reminded me of Old Town St. Augustine. I expressed to him how much In Love I was with the city of Gainesville and told him that that’s where I want to go to college. The college campus there is HUGE and it’s in the center of the entire town across the street from the strip that was lined with all kinds of restaurants, café’s, bars, clubs, consignment shops, everything you can imagine.

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My Cute Diaper Bag! (:

Although we spent a lovely weekend together, I still don’t feel like we need to be together. At least not right now. I need to get my life situated and established the way I want it before I can commit to a relationship, as does he. We both have things that we still need to work on, our lifestyles and ourselves, before we can actually “be” together. But regardless of our relationship status, we are both going to continue to be involved in Natalia’s life so that she can have both her parents. I feel that regardless of the parents’ relationship, they should both still have a relationship with the child.

My baby dropped! (:& Props to Prenatal Yoga for that Toned Booty! ;D

My baby dropped! (:
& Props to Prenatal Yoga for that Toned Booty! ;D

I have a very strong feeling that Natalia will be here sooner than the expected due date. I can feel so much more pressure on my pelvic area than ever before. Braxton Hicks contractions are definitely in full range and happening longer, stronger and more frequently. I can feel the baby so low in my stomach, people actually can tell the difference because I carried high my entire pregnancy; she has definitely dropped into position, which was confirmed in the appointment prior to the last. My belly is not so round anymore. It’s more “lumpy” and I can feel her body parts inside of me, which I think is the coolest thing ever. If Natalia was to be here before the 18th I would actually be very happy because then all this built up anticipation would be over with, I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore (Thank God!), and I would finally be able to hold my little girl in my arms. Daddy is very anxious to meet Natalia, probably even more than I am! The waiting period makes us so antsy.

My doctor’s appointment yesterday went pretty good for the most part. Other than waiting an entire hour and a half before I was actually seen, I had an overall good experience. The doctor told me that my blood pressure is absolutely perfect, my urine looks good, which lets me know that the Group B Strep Test that I took at the last appointment was negative. She also felt the baby in my belly and told me that she could feel all the body parts because I’m such a skinny pregnant girl and that the baby is measuring perfect size. I have been getting a lot of compliments lately from random strangers as well as friends about how pretty I am and how cute my belly is, how I have a “pregnancy glow” and it makes me feel so good, especially since I’m a little over two weeks away from having this baby! Prenatal yoga has definitely benefited my body in every way possible, keeping my body fit as it adjusts to the continuing added weight and alleviating the little back pain that I have.

$45 Baby Book from Hallmark

$45 Baby Book from Hallmark

The baby book that Jacob bought ironically fits perfectly in the shoe box that I picked to be Natalia’s baby box. It fits right in, like a glove on a hand. I drew a sketch of how I want to decorate the box and will spend my last two weeks of pregnancy making it. I already bought all the supplies needed to decorate the box. Now I just have to put it all together which I plan on starting this afternoon. This will be my next art project that I blog about.

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Supergirl BackPack - Because That is How I will Feel after Giving Birth!

Supergirl BackPack – Because That is How I will Feel after Giving Birth!

I also have my hospital bag packed and ready to go for when I go into labor. I even have a last minute check list hanging right next to the front door so I won’t forget ANYTHING important. I probably over packed, but it is okay because I would rather have more than enough than not enough. And who knows?! This baby could end up being so big that I end up having to need a C-section. So I feel the need to have plans A, B, and C so I can be prepared for anything. I am very anal about preparedness and having back up plans. I like to be ready for anything that may or may not happen! I also plan to leave candy with the nurses who help deliver Natalia as a friendly thank you gift for their support and hard work. I know this gesture will be greatly appreciated.

For the next two and a half weeks, I’m going to spend my time waiting on the rest of the nursery items to come in so I can add the finishing touches to the nursery, I’m going to relax and spend my time crafting to keep my mind busy, and I’m going to be blogging almost every day to keep my emotions and anxiety under control. I have a few craft ideas that I’ve posted about that I want to work on while I wait for Natalia’s arrival. I’m so very excited to meet my baby girl. ❤

Me on my Date Weekend (:

Me on my Date Weekend (:

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Natalia’s Nursery Project

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The process of painting the walls.

Wall Pops!

Wall Pops!

Here is the project that I have been/will be working on for the next two weeks: Natalia’s nursery. I still have quite a few things to add to complete her bedroom, including decorating and hanging her name on the wall, ordering and hanging the matching curtains, finishing putting the crib together (after I order the bumper that I thought came with the bed set but didn’t!), decorating the dresser and shelves, and organizing her things in the closet and dresser drawers.

Organization Storage Bins.

Organization Storage Bins.

I still want to order a few little things for her room, like a zebra print light switch plate and outlet covers to match everything else in the room, a couple of cute matching picture frames, some zebra fabric bins to organize the changing table, and some wall pops! I already have everything I want in my shopping cart, now I’m just waiting for the money to be there, lol! But Once I finish her bedroom, I’m going to spend the rest of my pregnancy organizing her baby book and making a baby keepsake box. This should keep me plenty busy until Natalia finally arrives!

Zebra Light Switch Plate.

Zebra Light Switch Plate.

I also have to install the car seat and pack my hospital bag sometime between all that, but everything will get done just like it has been. I am very excited about how her room is turning out and I am so proud of myself because I did everything by myself. I moved the furniture, painted the entire room and everything in it, put the crib, changing table and stroller together, and the end result is very rewarding. Natalia is so spoiled already! She has the cutest room and the cutest clothes to match. I will continue to take pictures of everything I do so I can someday show Natalia how hard mommy worked to make everything perfect for her beloved daughter. ❤

Not quite finished yet, but making good progress!!! (:

Not quite finished yet, but making good progress!!! (:

Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

singleparentI’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

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In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

1351030360504_6986131Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Mother silhouette with babyEven when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

imagesAnother thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

l_101068735Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

Pregnancy Post #12 – 31 Weeks

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31 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant

I am 31 weeks pregnant as of Monday. My next OB appointment isn’t for another two weeks, but there is a lot going on between now and then!

I revised my birth plan and made it to be more flexible about the circumstances that will/could be involved in my delivery. Also, my mother and I toured the hospital where I would deliver Natalia earlier this afternoon. It was very short and sweet, we were in and out it probably less than 15 minutes. They showed us an empty room that was fairly small, but the fetal monitoring and newborn care stuff were all in the same room; so mommy & baby are never separated, which is my favorite aspect about it. The hospital is very quiet, serene and peaceful-NOTHING AT ALL like the hospitals in the city (I’m referring to Jacksonville). I was very surprised about how nice this hospital actually is. I’m actually not at all worried about delivering at a hospital anymore, now that I got an idea of what the environment will be like.

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A few Baby Shower Decorations. (:

I’ve already started planning my baby shower. I am excited and anxious about this more than anything. I’ve made the invitation and invited the guests, I’ve ordered my dress and some decorations, and for the next week days I’m going to work on making the rest of the decorations, the games, and the music I want to play during the event. I have a veryyy busy next couple of weeks! I have a pregnancy care class to go to tomorrow morning, my baby shower Saturday, my birthday Sunday (Yay, I’ll be 20!), Dr. appointment the following week and then I’ll be starting the baby nursery paint and set up. I envisioned how I wanted the nursery to look like and then I sketched it on paper to get a more realistic visual of what I want. I’m happy that I have so many exciting plans to look forward to. I know everything is going to have a perfect result because I’ve preplanned and thought out everything, what it’s going to look like and how much its going to cost.

As for me personally, physically, and emotionally, I’m doing fantastic. The only complaint I have is the increasing occurrence of “Braxton Hicks” pains. They’re not unbearable, but they sure are uncomfortable! I cope with them by either walking them out or swaying my hips, something that moves me around to help distract me. Eventually, usually shortly after, I forget about them and they go away.

UntitledAccording to my pregnancy app, Natalia is well over 16 inches long and already weighs 3.5 pounds! Feeling her move so high on my stomach close to my boobs, and in my pelvis at the same time feels kind of funny. There’s a big baby in my belly I can feel it, lol! It’s becoming more uncomfortable than cute, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. But I love feeling her so active in her little home, it reassures me how healthy and happy she is. (:

Other than that, everything else feels great. Morning sickness has ceased (for now, ‘knock on wood’), No additional stretch marks, I’m gaining the perfect amount of weight, not too much not too little, I am actively doing my yoga at least every other day, I’m getting things done on a daily basis at a very convenient pace, I feel positive about myself, my life and everything that’s happening in it, and I have nothing but good expectations and positive intentions for the future.

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Teal & White Dots & Bows

Here is my newest work of art! I really think that this is one of the cutest nail designs I EVER saw. I love the mix match gradient colors and the opposite backround colors of all the nails. I just think they are so adorable. I used quite a bit of different nail polish colors: Ruby Kisses French White (Beauty Supply Store), Ruby Kisses Teal Envy (BSS), Love & Beauty Silver Sparkle (Forever 21 – that’s not the real name, the sticker is faded), OPI Happy Anniversary (A sparkly pearly white), Pure Ice Celestial Navy Blue, Sally Hansen Marine Scene Aqua, and Sally Hansen Clear Top & Base Coat. First I painted the base color of three of my nails with the teal envy, and used the french white as the base for my pinky & index finger. I absolutely LOVE how this turned out! I then used my medium sized dotting tool, that finally came in the mail from China, to paint a row of three dots down the center line and two on each side on all my fingers except the ring finger. I painted the blue dots on my white nails and the white dots on my teal nails. I used different color blues and whites to create a gradiant affect for my polka dots. They turned out looking pretty awesome. I then applied rhinestones to my ring finger in the shape of a bow to give them the glamorous look. I got this nail art idea online (Pinterest!) but I didn’t copy everything exactly, I added my own personal touch so I could mean it when I said “I did them myself”. It took me literally two days to do this design because I wanted to make sure the base coat paint was COMPLETELY dry before I started adding all the decorations. It was worth the wait because they are definitely worth stopping and staring! I’ll post a photo of the tools and polishes I used along with result pictures of how they turned out.

PS: I would have made a tutorial video about “how to” but my webcam isn’t working. So once that’s fixed, I’ll be on my way to making my amateur cosmetology videos and posting them regularly! ❤

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