Pregnancy Post #17 – 36 Weeks

Me @ 36 Weeks ♥

*36 Weeks & 3 Days Pregnant Today!
*35 Pounds gained since pre-pregnancy.
*27 Days Until Natalia’s Due Date & Head is Already Down! (:

Before & After Laundry Pics
2 Whole Hours of Washing & Folding Baby Clothes!
They still need to be organized by size and put away. “/

To all my lovely readers, I cannot tell you guys how anxious I have been over the past week (really the whole pregnancy but a lot lately). I am pretty much done doing all the main necessities in the nursery, as I’ve talked about in my last post, however there are still a few touch ups that I still want to do. I even came up with new organizational ideas for the closet. With that said, this morning Natalia’s satin zebra print dresser runner came in the mail this morning! So I wiped down the dresser and neatly placed it on top. Now all I need to do is figure out exactly how I’m going to decorate it. Today I started washing all the baby clothes and did not realize that I have WAY more than I need! I don’t even think Natalia will be able to wear them all before she grows into the next size! This is wonderful because it means she has more than she needs, which makes her the definition of SPOILED, lol. I can honestly say that I am not too much looking forward to doing all this laundry. -_- But I’m glad that I will be able to dress her in a different cute outfit every day though. I’ll be taking lots and lots of pictures to add to the baby book and scrapbook.

Aside from my generous friends that gave me clothes, and my mother and I buying clothes, I attend a Pregnancy Care Center every two weeks that also gave me a TON of clothes yesterday! I am so grateful that there is a pregnancy care center that I can go to that helps you out with everything you need. The people there are so very kind and thoughtful and I will recommend them to anybody and everybody. You go in to watch a video that has to do with pregnancy, prenatal or postnatal, take a short 5-10 question quiz on the video, and they give you “mommy money” which is paper money that you can spend on items from their resource room. This room is filled from wall to wall, floor to ceiling with alllll kinds of baby items imaginable, all donated. Most of the stuff is brand new and hasn’t even been opened. They have everything from bassinets, bouncers, cribs, swings, breast pumps, blankets, baby hygiene (i.e. shampoo, body wash, etc.) diapers, wipes, baby food, TONS of clothes, shoes, socks, hats, bottles, everything you can think of really. So I was able to spend my mommy money on several of these items yesterday and left with all kinds of useful things, for free! I am so thankful that I am going to donate anything I have to them because they deserve it more than anyone I know. I told my care taker, Ms. Bonnie that I am going to spread the word and let everybody I know about them because I think they are the greatest help center I’ve ever known.

I also had a doctor’s appointment yesterday which my mom accompanied me in. We had an ultrasound so we could measure the baby and see where she is positioned. She is already head down, so she could be here any day from now until her due date. I have a feeling that she could be here earlier than her due date! I had to take a Group B Strep test (whatever that is) and should here the results at my next appointment, which from now on will be once every week until Natalia arrives. I weighed in at 145 pounds, which means I’ve gained a whopping 35 since pre-pregnancy. Hopefully I don’t pass the 40 mark! But this is good and it tells me that I have a big, healthy baby girl inside of me.

Additionally, the baby’s father and I have started talking again for about a week now. We are surprisingly getting along really great (so far) and are going to spend this weekend together in Gainesville. He wants to see me and Natalia, take me out and take me shopping because he is also very excited that it’s this close to our daughter being here and he wants to go baby shopping with me. So we will see how this goes. (:

Braxton Hicks contractions are definitely happening more frequently and lasting anywhere from 1-3 minutes. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to the point where I have to be real still and stop everything I’m doing. For instance, the other day while I was taking a shower, I was having a mild contraction that was so intense I actually had to sit down in the shower. But then it went away shortly after and I was fine. Now I know what I can expect during the real event. I have a feeling that I’m going to be able to take this like a champ and hopefully not need any pain medication because my goal is to do this whole thing completely natural. I am very optimistic about this pregnancy and going through labor and I think this will be a fast, uncomplicated birthing experience for me.

Next week I plan to install the car seat and pack my hospital bag. The only reason I haven’t packed the hospital bag yet is because I still need to find out what the hospital will provide so I know what NOT to bring, and I don’t quite have everything I want to bring with me yet. I looked up what a typical outfit would be for the mommy to wear home from the hospital because I have a going home outfit for the baby already, but I have NO clue what I’m going to wear! After reading a few forums from other pregnant women, I have made the decision that what sounds the best for me to wear is a cute cheap sun dress. Some girls mentioned wearing gauchos or yoga pants, but since I will most likely be bleeding, I don’t think I feel comfortable wearing pants; so a dress is the way to go for me. I get more and more excited everyday about Natalia’s arrival and expressing my feelings definitely helps me out a lot with my anxiety. My next post will be about packing my hospital bag so I can give a detailed example to other girls who would have questions about it like I did.

Single Mom-To-Be & Loving It. (:

I’ve decided to share my thoughts about how I feel being a single mom-to-be. I guess I will save the best for last and start with the bad. The truth is, there is no bad side of this, for me anyways. The only thing that I think is sad about my situation is that unfortunately, my daughter will grow up without a father. Although most people would probably call me selfish not to have the father in the baby’s life, I beg to differ. I actually think it is very unselfish of me. As a matter of fact, it would be selfish of me to stay with the father, just so my daughter could say she grew up with both of her parents. Having both of the parents in the household is the best for any child, of course who would argue with that? However, if the parents are unhappy, hardly get along and argue about everything, what good can that be for the child? Would it be fair for the child to grow up around unhappy parents who fight all the time? I don’t think so.

In my case, I have MORE than enough reasons not to be with the father and to raise my daughter by myself. A violent and drug-affiliated criminal background, a financially irresponsible person that has countless debts and an impulsive person who does not think before they speak or act around a child, let alone their own, that they already have with another woman, is not the ideal fatherly role model that I want to have around my daughter, that’s for sure. Now those are a few of the many without a doubt, true to the fact FACTS about _____ , as far as my opinion about him goes? I will leave those comments to myself as I do not want to bash my baby’s daddy on the public internet.

I can honestly and 100% truthfully say that I am enjoying (so far) playing the role of mommy and daddy. It gives me a strong sense of independence and the feeling that I can do anything and everything. I can spend all the time in the world doing whatever it is that I want without worrying about the approval or the acceptance of anybody else. Now that I don’t have a man around to distract me, I can finally get to know myself better and figure all things out in my life without the input or influence of anybody else. I can spend ALL my time on me and my daughter. I am the ultimate chooser of what her name will be, how/where she will attend school, how she will be brought up, her morals, etc. I love the idea of not having to share any of those responsibilities. Now of course, if the father wants to be a part of the child’s life, or vice versa, I will not/never prevent that. I think it would be wonderful for my daughter to have a “healthy” relationship with her father, know who he is and spend time with him. But from the looks of it, based on the no help received or interest about what goes on with the child, it doesn’t seem like I will have to worry about that part for now, until she grows older and starts to ask about her daddy. At that point, I will have more knowledge, circumstances will be different (hopefully so will he) and will be able to handle that situation accordingly. I do not plan on going after him for child support unless I’m completely poor and have zero money. If you knew him, you would know why! I don’t have any worries about not being capable of taking care of my daughter. I know in my heart that I will have everything I need to support my baby without daddy’s help. He has not helped since we found out I was pregnant anyways. Besides, he is such a difficult person to deal with, that it would give me headache, heartache, and stress to even have to communicate with him, especially if it deals with money. So it’s actually in my best emotional interest to just stay away completely! I will always have the option of making his life more difficult by coming after him for money, but I’m just not that type of person. I will not need to make his life difficult anymore than it already is because he does that on his own.

Now this is just my own personal story about why I am a single parent-to-be. As far as anybody else, my best advice to them would be to do whatever it is that makes them happy, NO MATTER WHAT THE DECISION IS. If it makes you happy being with the father, then be with him. If it would make you happy to be without the father, then be without him. If you are not sure, you just know that in your present situation, you are not happy, change the situation to make yourself happy. When you are happy, your baby is happy, point blank. When you are unhappy, your child will be unhappy. But of course right? Your baby looks up to you and learns everything from you. You are setting the example for them. What good are you doing for them if you are not doing good for yourself?! That’s what I have finally learned and come to realize when people say “love yourself first,”, “always make sure you love yourself or you cannot love others,” “make your well-being your number one priority”. Now I know what all these wise quotes mean; and I’m so happy about it! I have complete confidence that I will have a wonderful rest of my pregnancy (as I have been since I left _____ ), that I will have an easy, fast labor with no complications, and that I will bring into the world the most beautiful and happy baby girl, and she will always be that.

Even when I was having (the few) joyous “happy” moments with my baby’s father, I still have never been as happy with him as I am now without him. And I would have never known about how happy I could make myself if I had made the stupid decision to stay with somebody that I know (and have known) would NEVER work out. I take full responsibility for my decisions. I knew at the beginning that this relationship was not such a good idea (I had just gotten out of one, me and baby daddy already had a past, and he pressured me into it-first red flag!), I knew when we decided we were going to get married that that was not such a bright idea (Thank God for not letting that happen although we tried, twice), and I knew, as time passed since we tried to get married, that things were still not working and could assume that it never would, based on our arguments and the way we fought, but I was naïve to my heart, and I decided to stay with the m*f-er anyways, which then resulted in having a baby with him. So it is completely my fault for allowing all of this to happen to me because I made all of the decisions that contributed to the result.

I would not change a thing about what I have done, because this little life inside of me has given me the inspiration I needed to better myself, my life, and my decision making skills. I seriously have never in my life felt so positive and completely good about myself, and everything in my life follows. The feeling is AMAZING. I am so proud of myself! I finished school in 2 months and graduated with a 3.6 GPA (which I could have never done staying with _____ because he would never give me time to myself, especially when he was around). I’m preparing for college 3 months after Natalia is born (which would have never happened if I stayed with him-it probably would have started out that way, but it would then change to him complaining of working all the time and not me, which was happening already). I also developed wonderful financial organizing skills to make sure I have the means to accommodate Natalia before, when and after she gets here (which also would have never happened being with an irresponsible, no money-management having ass that shared all the money and money-decisions!) As you can see, I’ve learned (the hard way) that if things are like this now, they’re going to be like this then, and not only that but it will only get worse. Now this of course is not the same for everybody, it really depends on the person and their willingness to change. But my baby daddy is 6 years older than me and set in his ways, not to mention he is very closed-minded, so there is no changing anything about that.

Another thing that I have learned is that when you have the right attitude and are in the right positive state of mind, there is no need to worry, because the universe takes care of everything for you. Now this statement can be contradicting. How can the bills get paid if you’re not working? What I’m trying to say is, when you are doing everything that you are supposed to do and you are positive about it, things work out in your favor. They actually turn out better than you expected. And you also get things when you least expect it. I’ve noticed that most people (that I know of) are afraid of the unknown, thus living in this “fear” holds them back from doing whatever it is that they want to do. How am I going to make money? How am I going to put food on the table? What table?! How am I going to get a place for me and my children to live? And all the like. Don’t let fear control you! If you don’t know how things will turn out, then why assume things wouldn’t?! How do you know that things could actually turn out a heck of a lot better than the way things are right now? You have to just take a chance and trust that everything will be alright, and they will. I don’t care what your situation is or what the circumstances are, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. And if you have a child/children, they should be even more of a reason for you to do what’s right for you and your child/children. I have so many young friends who are mothers that willfully choose to be unhappy with their baby daddy’s and husbands, and I think it’s so sad. Why do that to yourself? You have no idea how it’s affecting your kids. They can still have the father in their lives if that’s what you’re worried about. You can still make it on your own as long as you want to. Don’t be so hopeless! Don’t give up on yourselves just because you made some mistakes. Make things right, if not for yourself, do it for your children. There are so many options out there, so much financial aid you can apply for, so many help centers that you can turn to that will help you to get on your feet. All it takes is for you to decide what you want, and then do what you need to do to make that happen, and the universe WILL help you, that’s just how it works.

Anyways, I would have loved more than anything to have a baby with a father who would be to her what my father was to me (not necessarily, but you get the point). Unfortunately Fortunately, that will not be the case for Natalia. In the end, she will be much better off with her happy single mommy than she would be with her unhappy mommy and unhappy daddy together. And who knows?! Maybe some guy will come into the picture that will be everything to her that her daddy wasn’t/could never be. ;D

Now I DEFINITELY don’t want to have to worry about a relationship or men for a looooooong time after everything I’ve been through. I want to focus on figuring myself out, get into college, get a government job with benefits and job security so I can provide for my daughter in every way, and spend the rest of my time caring for her, spending time with her and watching her grow into the beautiful lady that she will become. I am so extremely happy about all of this. I’m patiently waiting for her arrival and feel myself getting more and more anxious to meet her every single day. ❤

Holiday Make-Up – First Cut Crease Using Glitter

This Christmas year, I am 27 weeks pregnant, just coming into my third trimester. So instead of going out, I’m staying in. Besides, it’s way too cold to be out there having to wear layers of clothes! And God knows clothes are uncomfortable enough for me as it is, lol! Anyways, I felt like dressing up; like a Christmas tree that lights up the whole room. So I put on so very cute brand new red clothes that I bought and haven’t worn yet, and did my make-up with glitter and red to be festive for the holidays. My make-up turned out so good, it kind of made me want to go out and show it off! I took pictures instead, and when I uploaded them, EVERYBODY loved it. I actually learned the eyeshadow cut crease technique from this girl on YouTube (she’s referenced below) who I thought did an amazing job. So I tried it, and it came out perfect! The picture is the proof.

Holiday Make-Up 2012 – Smokey Glitter Eye Shadow & Candy Red Lips

I used a white eyeshadow for the base of my eyelid. I use white because it makes the color you put over it brighter. I then used a sparkly silver eyeshadow over the white. I used Maybelline’s eye studio eyeliner with the brush to draw a perfect line along my crease. I actually went a little bit above my crease just to give the illusion that my eyelid is bigger than it actually is. I like to do this because I’m using glitter and I want people to see a lot of it without having to close my eyes. After I draw the line, I go over it again to make it a little darker and thicker, then I fade it outwards. Next, I used Wet n’ Wild’s sparkly black eyeshadow ($1.95 @ Walmart – you don’t have to buy expensive make-up for it to look good) on my brush and dabbed on the outer edge of the faded black line to add a little shape to my defined crease. I help fade it out by blending a sparkly light skin color  eye shadow to give it a less “racoon-ish” look. Next, I add a light colored creamy eyeshadow over the lid to use as an adhesive for the glitter to stick. After this I used a clean brush to pat it in silver eye shadow, dab in the glitter and then on to my eyelid. I cover the entire lid so that it’s nothing but glitter. I then used Maybelline’s liquid eyeliner with a pointed tip to draw an Egyptian cat-like line on my upper lid, and filled it in keeping out/wiping any excess glitter that falls onto the black. Last, I add eyeliner and mascara and there you have it; Holiday makeup! I think this look is great for any celebration: Christmas, New Years, a birthday, a party, etc. To add a little Christmas spirit to to my look, I put on Revlon’s 725 Love That Red lipstick with clear lip gloss. I think this makes me look like one of those porcelain dolls! Believe it or not, this was actually my very first attempt at cutting my crease when applying glitter. As I mentioned above, I learned from this girl on YouTube, which I will add a link to her video below. Eventually when I get around to fixing my camera, I’ll make the tutorials I keep talking about. Hopefully for now, you can learn by reading and looking at my example photos. Stay tuned for more beautiful make-up designs. I take pictures of my make-up every time so there’s a lot to look forward to. (:

Here is the video of the girl I learned how to cut my crease and add glitter from.